Twitter / chrislockefun

Chris Locke's Comedy Blog.

11/4/10

LGH! Sunday, Nov. 7. 2010




Lez Gut Hoot everybooby! Yes! Yes, please!

Let's Get Hot!
with Chris Locke & Aaron Eves

Feat:

Tim Polley
Marco Bernardi
James Hartnett
Desiree Lavoy
Todd Graham
Brian Barlow
Kathleen Phillips
Nick Flanagan
Jon McCurley

Plus so much more surprises and suproozes!

See you there at blast off!

Rivoli
334 Queen St. W.
Doors: 8:30pm

8/31/10

Let's Get Hot! Sunday, Sept. 5.




Let's Get Hot! is glad to see you again! Please come in and wipe your feet on the shag carpet. Oh, these? Yeah, they're Ritz crackers with old cheddar cheese and black olives on them. Eat them, friend. Enjoy yourself.
Look at the moon... isn't it beautiful?
I'm touching your amazing butt.

Let's Get Hot!
with Chris Locke & Aaron Eves

Featuring:

Nikki Payne
Mae Martin
Stephanie Kaliner
Michael Balazo
Nick Flanagan
Brian Barlow
Kathleen Phillips
Jon McCurley

And a vid by Mark Little.

Oh yeah, it's going to be a fantastic show. Don't move my hand off of your butt.

Sunday, Sept. 5
Rivoli
334 Queen St. W.
Doors: 8:30pm

8/20/10

Hello, What? on Funny Or Die.

Now you can vote for the darn video here: Funny Or Die

Thanks!

8/17/10

Hello, What?

A new short by Chris Locke & Tom Henry.
Directed, shot, and edited by Derek Horn.
Featuring: Tom Henry, Chris Locke, Aaron Eves, Tim Gilbert, David Dineen-Porter, and Nick Flanagan.

8/12/10

Before he was, "King Kong".




Hi everyone!
I've compiled a list of names that Merian C. Cooper and Edgar Wallace tossed back and forth before going with King Kong for their legendary giant ape monster.

Here they are:

1. Big Guy
2. Gary Gorilla
3. Prince Behemoth
4. Lord Hefty Ape
5. Dongo Bonger
6. Cheech Chong
7. Potentate Nate
8. Monstrous Monkey
9. Stupid Alexander
10. King Kung

7/31/10

Whiplash Pics. UCB July 26/10

These are two pics by the amazing Mindy Tucker from the Monday, July 26th Whiplash show at the UCB NYC.



7/5/10

Our Bodies Are Miracles

Here's a short clip of stand up from the Let's Get Rich show.

6/29/10

Let's Get Hot! July 4, 2010!



Back from the depths of Hell, it is the ultimate inferno bending antics of hilaritons, Chris Locke and Aaron Eves. They're excited to be doing a new LET'S GET HOT! show especially with these acts that will be listed in just a moment...

Let's Get Hot!
with Chris Locke & Aaron Eves


Featuring:

Steve Scholtz
Rebecca Kohler
Stephanie Tolev
Bob Kerr
Chris Robinson
Jon McCurley
Brian Barlow
Nick Flanagan
Kathleen Phillips

Oh yeah, it is going to be a mighty show. You WILL get smacked with a baton! Please make it out and let's all celebrate the summer and have a great time!

Rivoli
334 Queen St. W.
Doors open at 8:30pm!

Facebook Event

6/16/10

Double Double Land Show

This show is happening on Thursday June 24, 2010. It's going to be a 45 min set by Chris Locke with special guests. It's happening at Double Double Land in Kensington Market, Toronto.

Laugh Sabbath Comedy Network Showcase

6/7/10

Let's Get Hot! Eggs Intro.

Hello Chombo-bombers,
here’s a new intro vid by Chris & Aaron for their live show. Music by Slim Twig. Camera by Ashley Gray.

5/27/10

EYE magazine promo for WWSFF shorts show!

Hey! I'm curating and hosting a night that showcases Laugh Sabbath comedians live and their short films.
It's Thursday, June 3rd at The Annex Live in Toronto.

Here's the EYE article about it:

Laugh Sabbath WWSFF

Laugh Sabbath

5/25/10

Chris Locke - Free Diver




Hello, my name is Chris Locke and I am a free diver. That means that I dive deep down into the Ocean blue with no scuba gear on, not even a snorkel. I can hold my breath for about twenty seconds and then I have a little panic attack and I rush back up to the surface - breaststroking like a madman. The adrenaline rush is beyond compare.

Everyone knows that I love the Ocean. I love it so much. Sometimes when I'm near the Ocean, just floating on a dingy with some friends, I take a beer stein, scoop up some ocean water and chug it back and go, "That's really good water to drink. There's nothing wrong with it at all."
Then I offer it to others to try and they say, "No thanks. I'll get diarrhea."
But I never get diarrhea. I don't know what they're talking about. Must be my steady diet of white bread and sour cream and bacon chips. Nothing gets out of me.

I've pretty much free dove in every Ocean. The Atlantic, the Pacific, I've never been in the Indian Ocean, I've never been in the Arctic, and I haven't been in the Southern Ocean.

I hope to someday free dive in every Ocean known to man. Even Oceans we haven't discovered yet. You know? What if there's an awesome Ocean on Jupiter? I'd totally fly through space to check out what they've got going on over there. I honestly bet you that Jupiter's got some good stuff.

One of my favourite things about free diving in the Ocean is how close I get to the Whales. They are definitely the Earth's most majestic creature. What other creature could beat it? The Elephant? No way. If an elephant stepped one foot into the ocean it would sink to the bottom right away and impale itself on one of those underwater stalagmites. What a loser. Elephants are such losers I'm not even joking right now. I swear to God, I'm not joking right now... elephants are the biggest losers. They're scared of mice.

Whale's are the best. They're so big and they just swim around going, "Oooooooh." It's beautiful. They sound just like Aretha Franklin. I love being surrounded in the deep blue by all these magnificent soul singing beasts for about twenty seconds. It's my nirvana.

If I had my druthers, and this is not hyperbole, I would live in a Whale's belly- just like Geppetto, in Pinocchio. Except I'd be more prepared than Geppetto. I'd make the Whale eat some of my stuff from my apartment first, so it would be more cozy. Stuff I need bad like; my desk organizer for pens, rulers, and scissors, my corkboard so I can put up inspirational quotes by Mark Twain and photos of redheads in bikinis, and my computer.

Unfortunately, the Whales won't eat me. It must be my diet. They know I'm junkfood. I even covered myself in plankton - nothing. Trying to open those Whales pursed lips was like trying to open an elevator door when you're stuck between floors for twenty seconds. But I'm not going to give up on my dream and I'll never stop free diving into our great Oceans. It's one of the cheapest things you can do these days since everything costs so much money. Know what I mean?

Pic of me with baby Minke:

5/20/10

LGH! 5 Year Anniversary Show Commercial

The Let's Get Hot! 5 Year Anniversary Show is coming very soon and we're really excited.
It will be Sunday, June 6 at The Rivoli.

5/4/10

Let's Get Hot! Youtube Page.

Hello!
Aaron and I made a new youtube page for our vids. Check it out.

Youtube Page

Also, check out this newey. We love it!

3/22/10

Choogi Choomoogi and Me.




Hello every one, I work at the Zoo. It's a great place to work. I love it. Especially when it's a sunny day. Tons of great people that work there and tons of great animals to work with.
In fact, I actually work one on one a lot with a very special Gorilla named, "Choogi Choomoogi."
She is a very special Gorilla because over years of extensive training, I've taught her to communicate with me. That's right, I've made contact with a gorilla.
This has been made possible by using my own method called, "The Chris Locke Gorilla Intercourse Technique." Or "C.L.(G).I.T." With a silent "G". I don't think there's anything wrong with that name and I also don't think anything's funny about that name.

The "C.L.(G).I.T" method is very simple, for me, but really hard to explain to you, so I'll just try to give you an idea. Using, pink batons, baby blue bandanas, and a lime green Converse All-Star shoe with the laces untied, Choogi Choomoogi can express to me full paragraphs of thought just by how she places these items together. And hopefully soon, thanks to my research, Gorillas around the world will be able to express themselves through this method and then, who knows? maybe we'll have another market to advertise movies and fast food to? You never know what the future holds? Maybe some day Gorillas will get work in business offices just like we all do.

Here is an excerpt from the very first long-form conversation I conducted with Choogi Choomoogi:

CHOOGI: I am not like you?

CHRIS: No, we are different. But we are part of the same Taxonomic Family called, "Hominids."

CHOOGI: Really?

CHRIS: Yes. But you are a gorilla and I am a human.

CHOOGI: I see.

CHRIS: Good.

CHOOGI: Who was that lady you were talking to earlier?

CHRIS: When?

CHOOGI: When?! Right before you came in here.

CHRIS: Oh, that's Julie. She works in the exotic birds pavilion.

CHOOGI: I see. Do you like her?

CHRIS: Yes, I like her.

CHOOGI: I mean like, like her, like her.

CHRIS: Well, she is pretty cute, don't you think?

CHOOGI: No.

CHRIS: You don't think so? But she's got the cute wavy dark red hair and pretty eyes.

CHOOGI: I don't think she's attractive at all. She's too skinny. She would never be able to crack an adversary's skull. Come on. Her skin is too white. You like that red hair? What are you talking about? Red is such an awful color. it's not natural. It looks like blood or, some kind of strawberry jam oozing out of her head. Pretty eyes? Try shitty eyes. Brown eyes are pretty - not hazel eyes. And what are those overalls all about? What is she Mario the plumber from Super Mario Land? Was she eating a peanut butter and banana sandwich for lunch? How gauche. Come on it's 2010. Why not try making a curry potato wrap at least. Come on, Chris, set some standards for yourself.

CHRIS: Wow, Choogi. It's really great that we can finally communicate with each other. Do you like it?

CHOOGI: Yes. I just wish that you didn't waste your time with such a plain Jane nobody like that girl Julie. You're too good for her.

CHIRS: That's not true, Choogi.

CHOOGI: It is true. You need someone who is cultured and is very very strong.

CHRIS: Don't be ridiculous, Choogi.

CHOOGI: Chris, do you understand my feelings for you?

CHRIS: Sure, I do, Choogi. You like me. You and I are really good friends.

CHOOGI: Really good friends, huh? Is that all you think about our relationship?

CHRIS: Well, what else is there? I think it's great. We're good friends hanging out and now we get to communicate with each other.

CHOOGI: So I guess what's happening is we hang out and communicate with each other as just good friends then.

CHRIS: Yeah, isn't it great?

CHOOGI: Chris, do you understand any sort of subtext to what I'm getting at here?

CHRIS: Nope.

2/17/10

2/14/10

Talent Show Feat. Dinkus.

From Facebook invite:
What's the best thing about Valentine's Day? Going to see a comedy show! We're not even kidding around here, guys. This so, so serious.

TALENT SHOW will be showering you with delicious cinnamon hearts of laughter with there fine folks:

Your Host of Love:
James Hartnett!

Featuring:
Tim Gilbert
Dave Barclay
DINKUS!!
Gilson Lubin
Adam Christie
Tom Henry
David Dineen-Porter

Come laugh your rocks off!!

Sunday, Feb. 14.
Rivoli
332 Queen St. W.
Toronto, Ont.
Doors: 8:30pm

2/2/10

Let's Get Hot! Sunday, Feb. 7.


February, the month of love, cold, gaffes, pizza, cold pizza, cold coffee, and cold love is here!

Check out this amazing line up:

Let's Get Hot!
with Chris Locke & Aaron Eves

Featuring:
Scott Thompson
Dini Dimakos
Bobby Mair
Graham Wagner & Mike balazo
Jon McCurley
Brian Barlow
Kathleen Phillips

Yep. it's going to be a biggie. We're up-sizing our fries and super-soaking our pants.
Please come out to this and die laughing, peacefully

Rivoli
332 Queen St. W.
Toronto, Ont.
Doors: 8:30pm

1/15/10

Apu

1/4/10

New Short: Kelly 5-9 Outtakes.

Kelly 5-9

A bad writer wants to star in a movie based on his original script. Dystopian future, clones, betrayal.
A new short by Chris Locke
Directed & edited by Derek Horn
Featuring: Chris Locke, Nathan Fielder, Leslie Gottlieb.

1/2/10

Live From Siberia

A video I made with Aaron Eves. I guess it's to advertise our comedy show, Let's Get Hot!

chrislockecomedy@gmail.com