Twitter / chrislockefun

Chris Locke's Comedy Blog.

12/28/09

Let's Get Hot! Sunday, Jan. 3




2010: Year of laughing forever.
Start that crazy year off laughing off at the Rivoli THIS Sunday!

Check out this awesome line-up:

Let's Get Hot!
with Chris Locke & Aaron Eves


Featuring:

Michael Balazo
Dawn Whitwell
Nick Flanagan
Marco Bernardi
Matt Shury
Brian Barlow
Jon McCurley
Kathleen Phillips

AND SPECIAL BONUS!
The debut of a new short film by Chris Locke called, Kelly 5-9.
Directed and edited by Derek Horn
with Nathan Fielder & Leslie Gottlieb.
DON'T MISS!

"Good to see you!" Is what we'll say at the thing.
See you there!

Sunday, Jan. 3
Rivoli
332 Queen St. W.
Doors: 8:30pm
$5

12/22/09

Things I overheard people say in the mall food court during Christmas.




- "What do you mean the colors of my scarf bring out an anger in you?"

- "Look at that poor family over there watching us eat all this Manchu Wok."

- "I just want money, okay? No gifts! Just money."

- "Did you see those MILFs fighting in La Senza?"

- "Oh no! All the chocolates melted in my purse!"

- "That janitor just ate some fries out of his dustpan."

- "Grandma's ham is always dry and Grandpa always accidentally butters his hand... it's embarrassing. How do you not know you're buttering your hand?"

- "Where were you?"
- "I was in H&M like I said!"
- "Oh! I went to HMV."
- "You idiots, let's get out of here."

- "I just saw a baby taking a dump in Foot Locker."

- "This parka has a great pocket for me to keep my discman in."
- "Discman!?"
- "Yeah, why, what's up?"

- "He dumb!"

- "I hope that was eggnog on Santa's pants."

12/11/09

Santa's Back! Re-post.

Merry it up!
Thought I'd repost this since the it's that time of year again! Please hit "Digg" on the side if you're all about it!

Santa's Back

12/9/09

Things I've overheard during an ice storm.




- "Now all we need is Pepsi Cola and some Crown Royal, Ya feel me?"

- "Oh no, I forgot about this kind of weather!"

- "Ice-tastic! Just kidding. Ice-shit."

- "Check it out, that bus is going to get a coffee... Oh wait, it's actually crashing into Starbucks."

- "My baby just slid into the sewer."

- Flinstone style feet kicking noise

- "I'm calling the Mayor! Hello, Mayor, I do not pay you for ice storms!"

- "Sheesh!"

- "Hey you kids! Stop skating on my lawn!"

- "Ow, I slipped and cracked open my head. There's blood everywhere. No one's listening to me. I'm talking to myself. How embarrassing."

12/4/09

Let's Get Hot! Sunday, Dec. 6




We're really excited for the December edition!
Check out the frosted snowman cool line-up:

Let's Get Hot!
with: Chris Locke & Aaron Eves


Featuring:

Ladystache (Stephanie Tolev, Allison Hogg)
Adam Christie
Mack Lawrenz
Makesi Arthur
Jon McCurley
Kathleen Phillips
Nick Flanagan
Plus surprises!

Rivoli
332 Queen St. W.
Toronto
Doors: 8:30pm
$5

It's going to be so fun!
If you wear real knights armor from the Middle Ages you get in for free!!!

chrislockecomedy@gmail.com