Twitter / chrislockefun

Chris Locke's Comedy Blog.


Things I overheard people say in the mall food court during Christmas.

- "What do you mean the colors of my scarf bring out an anger in you?"

- "Look at that poor family over there watching us eat all this Manchu Wok."

- "I just want money, okay? No gifts! Just money."

- "Did you see those MILFs fighting in La Senza?"

- "Oh no! All the chocolates melted in my purse!"

- "That janitor just ate some fries out of his dustpan."

- "Grandma's ham is always dry and Grandpa always accidentally butters his hand... it's embarrassing. How do you not know you're buttering your hand?"

- "Where were you?"
- "I was in H&M like I said!"
- "Oh! I went to HMV."
- "You idiots, let's get out of here."

- "I just saw a baby taking a dump in Foot Locker."

- "This parka has a great pocket for me to keep my discman in."
- "Discman!?"
- "Yeah, why, what's up?"

- "He dumb!"

- "I hope that was eggnog on Santa's pants."


The Curator said...

Fuuuunnny, man. Keep it up. Never give up.

Robert Dayton, Junior said...

I thought we was gonna meet in the mall food court. I sat waiting.